Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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It's er, my day off again, really!I used to work for a big corporate company that had lots of ingenious and long winded processes for doing the most simple things - so when you wanted a day off work for example, you filled in an Annual Leave Request (ALR) form and internal mailed it to the HR department who would then rubber stamp it and send it back to you...
So when after a heavy night on the tiles I decided I couldn’t face going in to work I decided to front it out and just lie like fuck to my boss:
Boss: Arola, what’s going on mate it’s quarter to 10!?
Me: What!? I’m in bed – it’s my day off, I booked it off last week, ya bastard!
Boss: Oh, shit sorry I forgot! I didn’t wake you did I, ha ha ha!
Me: Ha ha ha, don’t worry about it I have got lot’s to do today anyway, I’ll see you on Monday. . .
Boss: Right-o, see you Monday!
This led to further abuse of the system whereby in one financial year I managed to take nearly 40 days annual leave and I still had too many left and was “forced” to take the remaining days before the year ended!!!
Great days!
Length jokes are shit
(, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 12:11, Reply)
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