Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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AlasNot me, but a friend of mine. As most of these things are. But trust me, I'm glad I never have to tell this story as my own.
Said friend, Phil for the purposes of this story etc, was driving to work when he suffered a side-on collision with a rather low-riding MG. his Mazda was completely pole-axed on one side as the twunt driving the MG had failed to pay attention whilst pulling out of a junction, smashing into the right hand side of Phil's car.
Bizarrely, the MG was ok, apart from some scratched paintwork and a broken light, but Phil's Mazda had a large dent in the side. The impact of the crash had caused the door to crack and implode into the car, with the now two halves of the door becoming vicious shards of metal.
One of said shards had thrust itself rather delightfully into Phil's leg. Through the ankle bone. And then twisted. An entire ninety degrees. Severing the ankle in half, separating the ankles bones and splitting the femur almost in half lengthways. When the paramedics turned up, they had to lift Phil out of the car and support the weight of half the door, as it would have ripped his leg in two had they jolted it out. He lost a lot of blood that day.
he also lost his foot. Most people in his work knew about it, but when he did return, some people inevitably asked him why he had been three days late for work. His response, casual as ever:
'Oh, just lost a foot.'
(, Sun 1 Jul 2007, 21:28, Reply)
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