Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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Sometimes an excuse just isnt enoughTwo weeks ago I was 30 minutes late for work. Again. For the second time that week. It was Tuesday.
The only excuse my mind could think of was in the catostrophy column. I looked around the car for something to wound myself with. My friend Jon was kind enough to let me borrow his bass guitar after helping him move his crap into storage while he enjoyed his unemployment sabaticcal and it was sitting next to me in the passenger seat. So at the first stoplight I picked the base up and drew it back.
KERBONNGGGG! Then I checked the vanity mirror on my sun shade and saw a decent welt, but I thought it could be better. KERBONGGG! KREBANGGG(oooh, look at the pretty stars)GGGGGgggg. Alright. Now I got a lump and the people stopped next to me have their mouths open. Still....
My injury was still lacking something. Ah, yes. Needs blood. I looked around for something to bust me open with. I found an earing of the stud varity belonging to my girlfriend. At the next stoplight I clenched my teeth and pushed the back of the earing through the flesh on my newly created forehead lump. I took a deep breath and brought it across my forehead with a "Keee-Yahhhh!!!" Karate style. I repeated this twice more as the people in the car next to me took pictures with their camera phones.
I walked into work looking like Terry Funk after a texas death match. My boss came up to me after I stumbled my way to my desk to ask why I was late. "Oh, my god?! what happened?"
"Oh, I was in a car accident. Can I leave early to go to the doctor?"
So I walk into the doctors office with this swollen bloody pulsating lump on my forehead and told the doctor what I imagined might of happened. I was expecting some pain killers and muscle relaxers, but I wound up with a release off work untill Friday. I accepted the offer.
Then I went to my docor feel good and loaded up on unnecessary pain killers.
Visit to crooked doctor = 80 dollars
Copay for schedule 3 narcotics (that's class B for you Torries) = 7 dollar copay for generics per 30 days
Watching primetime tv with your girlfriend while semicoherent = priceless
(, Tue 3 Jul 2007, 23:50, Reply)
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