Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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This happened the other dayA friend of mine from Manchester visits us in London every so often, and I, being a lazy sod, am always late to meet her. This wastes her short time in the city and invariably makes her angry. If she isn't pissed off about it, she's teasing me about it.
So, we made a deal: Next time she visited, we (especially me) would actually be early lest we jeopardise the friendship.
On the day, I'd been spending time with someone I wanted to see more than her, and so left late and sent the following text: "Ack, there's works on the road and I had to go all the way around to the station! I'll be just a little late, I'm so sorry, it really wasn't my fault this time" (LIES!!!)
Just as I hit "Send", my phone rings. 'Tis my Mancunian friend, who tells me that she is completely lost somewhere in London's backstreets and hasn't a clue how to get to the station. She's tried her best to find her way but will be very late on the one day we promised not to be, and she now sounded close to tears.
"Hold on" she says suddenly, "I have a text"
I saw my chance.
"What??" I respond incredulously "You go back on our promise after all the crap you've given me and now you're going to hang up for some text?!?!?"
My false ranting and raving went on for a good full 15 minutes, whilst every so often I had to put my hand over the mouthpiece to stifle the announcements of "This station is..." to hide the fact that I wasn't actually there yet.
At the end of this conversation, after profuse apologies from her, I just said "fine then, go look at your damn text". "OK, just a sec, I'll just put you on hold" says she. A few seconds later, she comes back on.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'LL BE LA-"
I hung up, then burst into hysterics
I got bitch-slapped to oblivion when I did arrive (even later than her) but good lord it was worth it.
(, Wed 4 Jul 2007, 14:07, Reply)
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