Back in the days of my playing in a band
We had a contact in the RAF and got to play a few local bases. One night we played on the same bill as a comedian whose name escapes me. He started doing stag party material to a mixed audience who weren't ready for his barrage of racist and sexist jokes. He was supposed to do 30 minutes but after 10 he walked off to the sound of his own footsteps. We were given the nod to get on as soon as we could. Whilst we fiddled with our instruments the singer grabs the mic and takes a few sniffs then shouts 'it smells like someone has died up here' which got more laughs than the comedian had managed all night.

Same singer (on the night Sinatra died) started the evening's show by singing "Start spreading the news...I stopped breathing today" to a massive silence that shook the room.

Whilst working in the local theatre a self-promoted comedy show 'Haggis and Curry' was on. A Scottish comedian followed by an Indian one. The scots bloke was ok - got a few laughs and made me laugh which considering I was seeing two or more comedians a week was something. The Indian bloke read off a sheet and was wildly out of his depth. He got heckled off. Whilst clearing the stage at the end I asked the Indian comedian 'have you left anything on the stage?' "Only my pride" he retorted.
(Flobbit gave you the horn on, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 18:00, Reply)