I don’t know what else to try.
My efforts on a website forum always fail. No matter how hard I try. I’ve tried everything and I’m still deeply unpopular. I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m desperately unfunny and really quite tragic.

I’ve tried:

• Boasting about my wonderful home (have I mentioned my 44,000 litre freshwater pool?)
• Garnering sympathy by telling strangers about my wife’s tit rot.
• Attempted to get ‘lols’ by constantly lying. I’ve even bullshitted about the abuse of a mentally ill woman in a care home and my (Phd qualified) mother killing someone.
• Telling people I’ve been an alcoholic, but I’m now able to have a few ‘tinnies’ when inviting my non-existent friends over to my wonderful home for a barbeque. (Have I mentioned my home? It’s a got a freshwater pool you know).

What will it take for an online community to give me the love & attention I crave?
(_Battered_, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 10:03, 22 replies)

SALTWATER you fool, SALTWATER.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 10:08, closed)

Saved me posting that.

(squigbobble existed, Tue 27 Aug 2013, 17:27, closed)

TERRIBLE BULLYING OF BALDMONKEY!
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 25 Aug 2013, 10:25, closed)

"suckpoppet" was better
But I really don't know poppet that well.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 11:05, closed)

I bet she'd run a mile, you creepy wanker.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 11:15, closed)

Pot-kettle.
My god bd you make creepy wankering a profession.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 12:53, closed)

Why are you replying to me if you've got me on 2.0?
Are you that upset?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 12:59, closed)

sounds like a creepy wanker to me

(alright alright, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:13, closed)

Ummm..
This from the man who's been logging out and then back in to argue with me all day.
Hypocrite, realise thyself.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:24, closed)

Well no, because you've got me on 2.0 as well, so you're having to do the exact same thing.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:30, closed)

No u!
Look sunshine, it's been.... fun, but it's getting a bit easy now. Maybe you shouldn't drink before the sun's over the yardarm or something.
Anyhoo, I've got a big one tomorrow and it's my beddy byes.
Night.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:33, closed)

and so ends another 18 hour internet breakdown live from drearyville
join us in three or four hours when the fat mess wakes up and starts all over again
(alright alright, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:38, closed)

nobody is arguing with you, you ridiculous fat bell end
we're just bullying you because it's easy and you weep the loudest and longest
(alright alright, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:31, closed)

It's like poking the Pilsbury dough boy, but instead of laughter, tears come out.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 13:37, closed)

I would just like to register my like of the term "ridiculous fat bell end" here, and state that I shall be employing it as soon as the opportunity arises.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 16:53, closed)

alright, ragamuffin

(alright alright, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 18:22, closed)

I think 'Fuckmuppet' would be more apt.

(The Goderator trumped and you smelt it, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 16:01, closed)

Fuck a horse

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 11:54, closed)

I've got a subaru outside.
No wait, that's backwards.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 11:59, closed)

Barbecue.

(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 11:58, closed)

Maybe if you caught AIDs off of bummerspit like what poor Doc Skagra did, you'd get some sympathy at least..
Possibly.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 25 Aug 2013, 16:07, closed)