And a further two letters
This time, to one of my ex's and one of my friends. Both are called Laura, just to confuse people. Names not changed because neither read this site and nobody knows them, so huzzah!

To Laura (the ex)

I'm sorry that I'm no longer your friend. Despite our friendship being amazing, and you being one of the few people I trusted, and the fact that we loved each other, I was a bit too naive and foolish when you said you'd always have a spot in your heart for me. I thought that it was the start of something beautiful when we finally got together, and I thought you felt the same. You certainly told and acted so, but now, I do wonder. Yes, even two years after the fact. To steal lyrics, "I wasn't your first love, I wasn't your last, but wasn't it sweetest of all?", although technically thats not true as I do think I was your first proper love.

I miss the times we used to have just talking about anything and everything. You were that rare breed of girl, a musician who played games and did a lot of artsy stuff as well as being a genuinely nice and cool and down to earth person who didn't get their head stuck up their arse. I miss that as I've never had that all in one person before, its usually been distributed amongst three or four people. I miss the fact that you used to start off joking that we were soulmates before actually progressing onto meaning it.

It's been so long, years have gone since I belonged with someone. That someone was you back when I still loved you. Nowadays, I'm not sure if I'm still in love with you, or with the idea of you. I'm over the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship thing, I just miss my old friend.

To Laura (the friend)

Christ I'm so fucked up over you. I don't know whether you want me as a friend or something more, because you keep swinging this way and that, backing off when you get too emotionally involved with me. I know you have emotional problems, deep-seated ones and I'd love to help you get over them. Unfortunately, I can't do that if you won't let me in.

You've shown the most trust in me that you've ever shown anyone, and I've reciprocated that. You're my second oldest friend, in the sense of me knowing you for ages, and I've always been your friend throughout everything, so would you at least do me the courtesy of letting me know whether you want one thing or another and please stop stringing me along?

I'm sorry for sending that email detailing how I was basically pissed off with you because I was in a very dark and angry state at the time and didn't think things through. I miss talking to you.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 1:35, 1 reply)

dude...move on
From personal experience it's hard to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for. Watching them get on with their lives will chew you up, make you jealous and ruin any reminence of frienship that was left, not to mention not getting on with your life.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:23, closed)