dear cuntsack neighbour
i know you've only lived here a few months, but you've managed to really piss me off. i gave you the benefit of the doubt the first few weeks, but you've taken the piss. i am sick and tired of your boozed-up mates knocking on my door at 3 a.m, because they can't tell the difference between my house, which is next to an alleyway(entry to my fellow northerners), and yours, which isn't. i like pink floyd, but i don't want to hear it FOR SIX HOURS EVERY FUCKING NIGHT whilst you and your goon-looking brother sing along. on the subject of your goon-looking brother, i don't care if he beats the living shit out of you, i just don't want to hear either that or him trashing your furniture when he's annoyed. don't get pissed off when i take the bag of empty stella cans you dumped outside my gate and put them outside your gate. also don't get pissed off when i use a stick to flick your dog's shit out of my garden and into yours.
you can get pissed off when you get the eviction notification, but by then, it'll be too late. hopefully, whoever moves in after you will share my "don't fuck with me and i won't fuck with you" recipe for a happy and friendly neighbour relationship.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:13, 8 replies)

Would you
move next door to me?
I could do with someone who flicks the dogshit away
As long as you are a non flaky hippy type who doesnt drum and chant for hours ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:38, closed)

i don't drum and chant
but i do play loud music for one hour, twice a week, whilst i do my big clean-up. i only play it during the day, though ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:44, closed)

Loud music
While cleaning is an absolute must.
Prodigy, Black Eyed Peas ot Glenn Miller works for me
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 23:28, closed)

mine is usually
queen, motown, harry bellafonte and an odd mixture of 60's and obscure rock
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:55, closed)

neighbours are a terrible idea
It's time all beetans clubbed together and bought an island, we could call it spang island. only problem* would be those twunts on the next island, stealing our fish and banging their coconuts together to loudly at night.

* probably not the only problem
(danceswithferrets is leaking sanity, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:18, closed)

can it be a secret volcano lair?
i really want a secret volcano lair
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:56, closed)

holy crap
why are people so shit?

I hope your situation improves :)
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:34, closed)

i'm sure it will
just as soon as he gets evicted :D
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:57, closed)