Dear C,
I know we haven't spoken for a while, and I guess that's down to a lot of reasons. Well, split 50/50 between me being half the country away now and never wanting to see your face (apparently now with shaven head) again.

But this isn't a bitter letter, I actually want to thank you for the positives that came from our (incredibly brief considering the effect it had on me) relationship.

Thanks for cutting me off from my friends as best you could - it brought me and them closer in the end, and taught me they're always going to be there for me.

Thanks for the sex - sex is nice.

Thanks for punching me in the throat - this one is a bit more tenuous but it taught me that physical pain isn't the be all and all, and it made me look cool in front of everyone in school because I didn't flinch.

Thanks for cheating on me with your half-brother - This taught me deal with emotional pain, and left me with a repulsive tale to regale friends and strangers alike with.

Thanks for going off the rails when I finally manned up and dumped you - this made me feel secretly good about myself. Maybe life without me isn't worth living.

p.s you being a slaggy drug addict now makes me happy

(because if your first b3ta post isn't going to be pseudo-emotional claptrap, what is it gonna be?)
(6 Garden Lane Heaton, Bradford, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:01, 7 replies)

Welcome aboard.
Feel better now?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:30, closed)

a bit better
though I should probably point out its been nearly two years and I've spent the last of those with my current (much nicer) lady friend and have generally moved on with my life from aforementioned poohead girlfriend
(6 Garden Lane Heaton, Bradford, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:43, closed)

right
so C is a lady then, and you are a fella?
(Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:53, closed)

What would you prefer?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:46, closed)

C is a female
but perhaps not a lady. I am a fella.
(6 Garden Lane Heaton, Bradford, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:34, closed)

You still love her.
And you know it.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:40, closed)

I did for a long time
too long in fact. But no.
(6 Garden Lane Heaton, Bradford, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:56, closed)