I swear on my mum's life that every word of this post is true... O_o
Many years ago, I worked for a small sales company, and we took on a chap by the name of Ron Frudd as a rep. (That's not his real name, I've changed it to protect the innocent, ie: me).

Ron was a good laugh, and a good rep, and lived near me so started coming to my local, got friendly with my mates and the (small) part of my family that came to the pub too.

He was so full of shit though, I mean did he believe what he was telling us, or did he just try and sell us anything to see if we'd swallow it? We all knew he was bullshitting but since he was a good laugh (and it was mostly* harmless) we let it slide...

Amongst his gems were:

"Yeah, I used to have a Ferrari, it was great but if you drove it hard the engine needed rebuilding every other week"

"Ron Frudd's not my real name, I put a drug dealer in jail and he swore that when he got out he'd kill me and my family"
(this after a long speech previously about how proud of his name he was and how glad he was that he had a son to carry on the family name).

"Well yeah, I can turn pain off at will"

"I'm quite envious of you getting a tattoo, I could never do it coz I couldn't stand the pain"

"I've got a tattoo - I'm not proud of it, I'll show you one day"

(Can you see how those last three link together quite nicely?)

He was also constantly referring to his time in "The Regiment" (for those of you who don't know, that's apparently how ex-SAS members refer to the SAS), and telling us how his wife spent the whole of the first Gulf War on the phone to John Major saying "No no NO Prime Minister, he's served his country and you CAN'T have him back!"

The biggest lie though, was when he denied that he'd shagged my Mum O_o

Length? I hope I never find out...


*I did say "mostly harmless"
(Marvin Kettle is boiling, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 13:47, Reply)