This pea was in the air-con & got burnt.
Mater (RIP) was somewhat of a nutjob, "proper" eng-er-lish laaadyyy.
I was 9-10ish and having procured my first cig (stolen by a mate off their old man) went to try it behind the aircon of the place we were house-sitting. The aircon is a big box with a pump inside surrounded by straw-like matting that water dribbles down to cause an evaporative cooling effect as the outside air is sucked inside (but is completely dry when not in use). Mum was inside in the bath. Halfway thru my first cig (hack, hack cough, cough) mum shouts out "WHERE"S THAT SMOKE COMING FROM?" Smoke from said cigarette is pouring through the aircon ducting into the house. I panic & quickly stub the cig out on the tinder dry, easily flammable straw...
Smoke suddenly grows exponentially and aircon rapidly burns. Mum screams and runs out of the bathroom in a towel to ring fireys. I run round to the fire-extinguisher (which I had been itching to try out) and put the fire out completely. Fireys turn up douse the aircon (just in case). Mum comes out and asks me what the hell is going on. After mum shouts a lot she susses that something is up and makes me turn out my pockets, finding a lighter (to light cig). She immediately flys into rage and accuses me of being a pyro in front of the fireys.
As penance I had to spend 2 weeks of my school holidays helping & cleaning up around the fire station. When the fire-boss found out the real reason for my transgression he pissed himself.

With the addendum to the story that I eventually told my mum the truth round about 2004 and she flat out wouldn't believe me.
Naughty little fucking pyro I was!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 6:32, Reply)