Being interviewed by the local Chief of Police.
I once applied for a job which had something or other to do with 'Shop Safe' schemes, similar to the 'Pub Watch' schemes that mean if you're barred from one you're often barred from all, or at least followed round by security. I wrote on my application that I had previous experience of such schemes of course, I think the phrase I used was "actively involved" in the shop safe scheme in Newbury.

The truth was I'd gone along once in my 3 years working in retail in Newbury and that was only because they had free tea and biscuits. We all passed round a folder of mug shots of the local hoodlums and giggled at their pronounced brows etc.

Long story short I wasn't expecting an interview, I certainly wasn't expecting a panel interview with the Canterbury City Centre Manager, the Head of Kent Shop Safe Schemes and worst of all the Kent Chief of Police in his full uniform and hat perched on the table.

Never one to back out of something I sat politely and answered all their questions, elaborated further on my involvement in the scheme in Newbury. They then told me about the job itself, to revive the flagging Shop Safe scheme in Whitstable and then launching one from scratch in Herne Bay. Of course I'd be reporting directly to the Head of Shop Safe and liaising regularly with Kent Police.

I walked out of the interview laughing at my slight miscalculation of both my own skills and the seriousness of the job I applied for. Of course I was laughing on the other side of my face when they offered me the job. I obviously couldn't do it, eating tea and biscuits was not the required experience for setting up something like a shop safe scheme from scratch. I politely turned down the job, alas that wasn't the end of it, the City Centre Manager called me up and asked me to meet him in the board room of the council offices. He then sat telling me how right I was for the job. I told him I was doing an OU course in psychology and didn't think I'd have the time to do both, to which his response was that he could definitely get me doing some work experience with the local forensic psychology team thanks to his connections with Kent Police. Eventually after an hour in that room and the weirdest 3 days of my life I was able to turn down the job and walk away, the lie still intact.

Moral of the story? Think twice about lying on CV's and applications just in case they DO give you the nuclear codes and you have trouble turning down jobs.
( JebediahSpringfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:53, 5 replies)

reading between
the lines, you were the only applicant.
(username failed moderation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:01, closed)

Quite possibly.
Although if I were them I'd have pulled the post rather than offer it to me!
( JebediahSpringfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:05, closed)

Meh.
I still think you could have blagged it. Especially if all the meetings involved was passing round photos of mugshots.
( .Yeti., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:09, closed)

Also
thought that.

At worst you get free biscuits for a few weeks.
(username failed moderation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:13, closed)

I think the problem would have been...
that I would have organised the meetings and thus I would have forgotten to invite anyone and forgotten to buy the biscuits as well.
( JebediahSpringfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:21, closed)