squished foot
about 30 years ago, the council were putting some massive new concrete sewer pipes under the car park behind my house. when the workmen went home at night, the site security would let us play in these pipes. about 6 kids would sit inside a pipe, whilst another 6 or so would push them with all their strength, until they got rolling. great fun.
one evening, when the pipes had been there for about a week, i was standing in the carpark talking to my brother. with unerring accuracy, one large, child-laden concrete pipe chose that moment to roll right over my left foot, crushing it completely.
cue my foot doing a hulk impression, my shoe splitting and falling off and the top of my foot literally tearing open and the innards poking out.
oh, and the screaming. lots and lots of screaming.
after 3 days in hospital, 8 weeks on crutches and much pain, i was finally able to walk again. my mother, by this time, was suing the council for allowing children to play with the pipes. the council stated that all pipes were chained up inside the compound so, if i'd been injured by one of them, i must have broken into their compound and removed the chains myself. as this was in the days before CCTV cameras everywhere, it looked like we were going to lose.
and then a miracle occurred. the site security guard learned that he was about to be made redundant, so he decided to fuck things up for the council as much as he could. he gave a witness statement to my solicitor, which said that the pipes were never inside the compound and the council had skimped on costs by not using chains, instead employing a small stone wedged under the first and last pipes to stop them from rolling away. upon hearing this, the council folded faster than superman on laundry day and a couple of grand was forthcoming.
winning a victory over the coucil when you're that small(6 years old) is FANTASTIC!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 17:15, 8 replies)

Now that is a heartwarming tale
though I suspect the security guard never worked for the council again.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:11, closed)

he would have got the chop anyway
as he was the one who turned a blind eye while we were playing with the pipes!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:13, closed)

Fair point.
Actually, he wasn't a very good security guard at all was he. Probably deserved to get fired.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:33, closed)

maybe
but he came forward when he didn't have to.
to spite his employers or not, he did me a favour
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:15, closed)

i have to agree with althegeordie on this.
fair play, you kids were having your fun, that's a given.
had many similar japes myself as a bairn, building sites are cracking playgrounds.
however (HOWEVER!) they are seriously fucking dangerous places, especially for kids!
you were lucky it was only your foot that got squished, a pal of mine got a broken left femur and crushed pelvis in the summer of '76 when he unwittingly caused a stack of timber to collapse on himself on a site we
we were fucking around on.
christ, it gives me the chills just thinking about it now! i don't know how i didn't kill myself one way or another.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:58, closed)

i feel you may have missed the point slightly
we weren't playing on a building site, we were in a carpark. the pipes were left in the carpark overnight, when they should have been chained up in the compound out of our reach. we were simply playing where we normally played.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 13:55, closed)

How's your foot?
Better?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:23, closed)

yep, fine now
although i can stick a nail in the middle of my foot and not feel it :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:49, closed)