Vinnie
A couple of years ago, we had someone move into our house who at first seemed normal but was patently mad.

He was into Classical music and Charlotte Church and used to play CD's at ridiculous volumes at all hours of the day and night. He also claimed he was in a brass band, and had a big fuck off Tuba, though it was obvious he couldn't play it and would have got a better sound out of a big fuck off Tuna.

In three months he lived with us, he never once washed any of his clothes and only had three changes of clothes. Whenever he used the bathroom, he come out and still stink, but the bathroom used to be covered in water, the floor, walls and ceiling would all be soaking, it would seem the water went everywhere except on him.

He also had an obsession with Wheelie bins, and he was always dragging ours into our lounge and sitting on it, or opening it and jumping up and down in it. He also used to go out in the middle of the night and pinch other peoples bins and bring them in the house as well.

Then there was his early evening routine of going and lying in the middle of the road in his underpants swearing at passers by.

He lived on a diet consisting entirely of Mint Viennetas, and always used to leave the empty wrappers and bowls in the middle of the living room floor.

Turns out there was a reason for all this, one of my housemates caught him taking some tablets and asked what they were for, only to meet gat the reply "I say that they're for stress, but my doctor says they're for schizophrenia." We still got him evicted though.
(Mischeivious_Delinquent_Squirrel, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:45, Reply)