"Leicester Garnett"
Where I used to go to school, there was a "tramp" known as Leicester. This was a very small town in the Lakes'.

He wasn't really a nutter, but someone who'd hada hard life, lost his only love, and turned to a life of simplicity and the bottle. His bow-legged yet sturdy stance was second to none. Liecester would stare down charging bulls and make then feel rather silly. Quite remarkable.

The local church had given him the corner of thier land to live in, and had donated a garden shed for his home. He loved it dearly and named it "heartbreak hotel"

At nights, Leicester could be heard drunkenly singing Elvis classics, and on weekends he'd be dressed in tweeds and his flat cap. HE was truly a strange Fella.

The only thing that could possibly label him as a nutter was his ability to whinny like a horse with uncanny accuracy. He'd do this in the mainstreet of town, and wet himself laughing as the tourists looked around for the horse...

One of his friends died, and left him a house.
Leicester tore up the floorboards and made a table, and lots of firewood. Sadly, he died one winter, and the mainstreet was never the same again.

Incedentally.. this is the same school that employed "Dave the Photographer" (Mr Flint) who had a period of exploitation with that fat f*ck: Chris Moyles.

I would tell tales about Dave.... but Spakka comedy is only funny if it's not entirely true.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 17 Sep 2004, 9:00, Reply)