deepest, darkest wales
that's where i grew up, the kind of place where there's only 4 surnames, y'know. So we had more than our fair share of chin biters. there was the mad professor, he was this ol' fella who wandered round town wearing a monacle, he was perfectly lucid, but he wore shorts, all year round, even when there was 2 foot of snow on the ground, tiny p.e. type shorts too.
then there was dog-girl, she was quite sad really, she was a few years below me in school, and genuinely thought she was a dog, what the fuck she was doing in a normal high school i have no idea, but there she was, she used to growl and bark at people who tried to steal her crisps or wind her up, which of course happened constantly.
then there was the heartwarming tale of jane and dai strawberry, jane was a cleaner in the school and dai was a general handyman/janitor type. now they were both kinda 'special', dai was called dai strawberry because he was massively obese and bright red. he wasn't quite all there but i wouldn't say he was totally wacko, but jane, jane was the perfect example of why cousins shouldn't marry, nuclear ginger, with glasses like the bottoms of newcy brown bottles, she would bustle around the school in a fug of bo, muttering away to herself like a full-on loon. she drove a scooter, which to this day probably still has an L plate, and her parents had to paint the rockery in front of their house yellow, because she kept walking into other people's houses thinking they were hers. dai and jane got married, awwww, makes you realise there's someone for everyone don't it, and then they had a baby, poor little sod.
( baby wet ones, Tue 21 Sep 2004, 9:08, Reply)