This is where you'll end up
Once upon a time one of my less fortunate friends was jailed for a year after getting caught in possession of a substantial amount of pills. Silly bastard. Well, long story short his brother and I went to visit him a few weeks into his sentence. Incidentally he was looking great, fitter and healthier then I'd ever seen him.

When you arrive at the nick (Doncaster in this case), you have to park up, go into a locker room, fill out your details and present a Visiting Order. We did this, and in the process Danny found that he had some pills in his keyring container, and I discovered some K in my back pocket and remembered some trips in my trainer.

We swore urgently and taking great care not to be seen we put them into the locker, praying they would remain indiscovered. After this we had to go through security; a horrendous process whereby you're searched, have metal detectors passed over you and are sniffed by sniffer dogs. We set them off barking something rotten and were searched again; obviously the dogs had picked up on our Aroma - we'd been out the night before and residue obviously still lingered.

Eventually we were let through to the visiting area. We had an enjoyable hour with Matt, and saw Zammo off Grange Hill sitting visiting across the way. We'd seen him in the queue but were undecided as to whether it was him. Matt's sudden enthusiam was conclusive - it was Zammo!

We spent some time singing the Grange Hill tune and generally trying to annoy him/get his attention. We failed, but were right behind him on the way out, going through gate after gate after gate, before ending up next to the sniffer dogs, but on the other side of the corridor. They went berserk again, and we were taken into another room and searched again. As we were dragged off, Zammo turned round and looked at us. With comic genius, I said "Just Say No!" Sadly the silence was deafening.

Anyway, we were released shortly afterwards, and we collected our things from the locker room. As we left a phalanx of bodyguards surrounding a diminutive woman went passed. I didn't recognise her but Danny instantly went "Fuck me, Princess Anne." I wonder what she'd been convicted of.

As an aside, we bumped into a couple of mega-gyppoes who Danny had gone to school with. Silly sods had made a "bomb" out of a watch taped to a shoebox with some wires inside. Obviously a joke but in the post 9/11 crisis this was not deemed funny. They each received 6 years a few weeks later.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 16 Sep 2010, 13:55, 2 replies)

Did you have a closed visit?
If you set the sniffer dogs off you get the inmate a closed visit. If the dogs go off on 3 seperate occasions you get the inmate closed visits for the remainder of his stay.
You do in Dartmoor, Exeter and Channings Wood anyway!
( user_names_suck, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 17:45, closed)

No, we didn't, it was pretty much ignored on that occasion.
Although in Norwich recently the dogs went off, I got strip searched and the visit was cancelled.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 17 Sep 2010, 6:41, closed)