Never trust a northerner
Everyone knows someone who is spectacularly useless at everyday life, often thanks to repeated drug use semi-permanently screwing with their brain. Our mistake was to repeatedly try and make someone like this do something worthwhile.

Quite the silliest thing my friends and I ever did was to give him about £100 and send him to the pub for an ounce of hash (this is about ten years ago - I'm sure it's more expensive now). Considering this is a man to whom I'd lent money for an airfare only to see him miss the plane not once, but twice, and never pay me back, to this day I have no idea why I chipped in. But there we go.

We waited at home for our drugs, skinning up the pathetic remnants that we had left.

And waited.

And waited.

Eventually we followed him to the pub. Whereupon we found our would-be mule in the far corner of the upstairs room, slumped over a table, totally unconscious with half-empty pint and shot glasses in front of him and a rolled up paper tube up his nose. When we moved him, we found the remains of the line of coke he was trying to snort when he passed out. He had no money on him, neither his own nor ours.

We never gave him any again.

Amazingly this guy is now a primary school teacher. Thankfully he also moved to France.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Fri 17 Sep 2010, 13:58, Reply)