Last night a ketamine-doped hippy saved my life
One Hallowe'en I was invited to a small flat party, and being the dangerous and daring rogue I am I brought with me an entire bottle of Wood's Old Navy Rum (62%; black as tar and slightly tastier) and Ouzo (a weedy 40%) with a view to drinking as much "Oozing Wood" as I could, this being a cocktail consisting of the two drinks and nothing else. It tastes like being hit in the face by a plank.

I kissed three men and a lady that night, went to a pub whilst unable to see straight and got some port bought for me by three perfect gentlemen, and eventually reportedly collapsed on the floor back at the party choking on my own boak. I heard the next day I'd had my life saved by a couple of guys out of their faces on Ketamine who discussed for some significant length of time whether they should do anything about the guy on the floor gagging on vom. Eventually one of them turned me on my side, saving me from absolutely the least dignified death a man could ever suffer.

I woke up the next day with half the rum gone, all the Ouzo drunk, a faceful of stomach chunks and a whole heap of green vomit just dying to get out of my body and into the open air, and no appetite for alcohol for a month. The next time I saw the dude I gave him a fiver as thanks.

Moral of the story? Save someone's life and you might get a reward a la a computer game. I can think of no other lessons to impart from my experience.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)