The Joys Of Solvent Abuse
or, What Fucking Timing
or, I just Hurled My Ring Into The Front Garden

Have you ever come across turbo lighters? Awesome little things. They take normal lighter gas, but they pressurise it differently or adjust the air mix or something, so you get a powerful little hissing blue flame rather than the wavy orange licking flame of normal ones. Exactly like the difference between the two settings on the Bunsen burners you use at school.
They tend to cack out after a few months, but lighting your cigarette with a miniature blowtorch is pretty fucking cool, so I persist in buying them.

Unfortunately, like I say, they tend to cack out pretty quickly. Normally they just give up the ghost but...

I was outside smoking just now, and my turbo lighter decided to misbehave. When I pressed to light it, something went 'crunch' inside, and instead of a delightful little flame and the expected nicotine rush, it shot out a jet of rapidly-evaporating-but-not-rapidly-enough butane.

All over the end of the cigarette.
And damn near straight up my nose.
As I was inhaling to light the cig.

I promptly spewed into the bushes outside my house, and I now have an appalling headrush/headache that I normally expect to get the morning after a dozen shandies. I'm not ruling out throwing up again either.
People do this for fun? What the fuck?
I'm going to stick to my Zippo from now on.
Ugh.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 22:39, 4 replies)

Matches
They are the future ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 23:04, closed)

ah, the joys of butane
hallucinated my tits off many a time on that stuff. stopped it when i had a fag in my hand, my mate had a lighter lit and asdked if i wanted a light. i turned, said "what?" and breathed flames :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:17, closed)

You must have been fucking mental.
It's revolting. And I didn't hallucinate, I just sicked up petrolly-tasting sick.

The breathing flames thing also made me realise that it's possible the lighter could still have lit. I'm actually fucking lucky I didn't incinerate my beautiful face.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 9:10, closed)

:)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 14:30, closed)