When I first met my in-laws,
they really didn't like me. I couldn't understand why, until I realised that on the way into their house I had accidently taken random shots with a sawn off shotgun into their fish-pond. This had caused chunks of sushi to splatter themselves accross the front of their house. The stench attracted flocks of seagulls, and other fish eating birds, and also a horde of Japanese tourists.
Not only this, but an evil wannabe-dictator had built his underground base beneath the pond, such that the pond served as a sliding door in the roof for his secret rocket ship to fly out through. One of my shots had penetrated the roof of his fortress and set off his sprinkler system.
He had just finished a painting competition with his henchmen, and they were waiting for their poster-paint masterpieces to dry. So, when the sprinklers went off, it ruined the pictures and made pools of watery paint all over the place. This caused one of the henchmen to slip, bounce off a console and land in a puddle, which ruined his boiler suit and meant he accidently pressed a button launching a nuclear warhead towards the grand canyon.
The in-laws were planning to holiday in the grand canyon that summer, so they were really upset with me.
Needless to say, when I explained that it had all been an accident, we all laughed, and went outside to take pot shots with a crossbow at all the seabirds and slitty-eyed tourists.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 19 May 2005, 16:12, Reply)