I was 18 and she was 15 (nearly 16)
We'd been seeing each other for a couple of months, and I went to stay round her parents place one night as it was on the other side of town and too far for a taxi. Her mother was adorable, but her father was one of the scariest men I have ever encountered. For a start, he had this gammy eye which would twitch alarmingly and never seemed to be focused on anything. Also he spoke fluent Glaswegian and nothing else - his first question to me was "Surwhassyagurl?"
"I'm sorry?" I said, in my best posh "meeting-the-girlfriend's-parents" voice.
"Whass yur gurl?" he repeated. Turns out he was asking me what I wanted to do in life. That was just the start of the most stilted and uncomfortable conversation I've ever had.

Oh, and we were in separate rooms. I went to "visit" her early the next morning, both keeping as quiet as possible. Suddenly there was a burst of random Scots from the next room which I didn't understand, but assumed (rightly) that it translated as "Git awa' frae ma daughter ye horny wee sassenach!" Anyway, that was the one and only time I stayed round hers.

Apologies for length, girth and smell.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 19 May 2005, 18:00, Reply)