When I met the parentsWhen my g/f first met my parents for lunch, my Dad leant over and ate food off her plate. My mother was mortified, I was a bit confused, she thought it was wonderfull and that she'd been accepted.
We at B3ta are sure you've had worse than this though... tell us all about it.
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chthonic, Thu 19 May 2005, 13:27)
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First (and last) Date with GenWhat I'm about to tell you is true except:
* I saw her again
* The banana stuck to the wall.
* Names have been changed to protect the innocent
I went round to pick Gen up, and was left waiting... Alone... With the parents.
The Dad was this scrawny, little guy who busied himself by asking me the usual Dadesque questions.
The Dad: "So, what do you plan on doing after you graduate?" ("Do you plan on shagging my daughter?")
Me: "Well, I was thinking of joining the Navy." ("Yes, sir, in the ass, twice.").
At least The Dad and I were playing by the rules.
In comes The Mom. The Mom was this gynormous beastly creature -- sans bra -- wearing one of those long tee-shirts. Four sizes too small. Period. After the grinning introductions, she's quiet. For the moment. (In literary circles, this is known as foreshadowing.)
Out comes Gen (freshly showered), looking more or less radiant. She comes over, sits on my lap, and chastely kisses me on the cheek. How sweet is that?
Anyway, The Dad and I are having a nice conversation, when the gals decided that we were monopolizing the conversation.
At the point when The Dad says, "Well, we're living in this shithole because we've just filed bankruptcy," Gen blurts out, "I want 8 inches." Horrified and embarrassed, my jaw drops.
The Mom doesn't even blink. "What do you want 'em to do, Gen? Whitewash your tonsils?"
Holy fucking shit.
Being the nice guy I am, I took her out anyway.
Other than during class, I never saw her again.
The banana, on the other hand, hit the wall with a wet smack and began its slow decent to the floor.
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cciulla doesn't have a board sig., Thu 19 May 2005, 18:43,
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