Oh where do I start?
There are a couple of occasions that stand out really. I suffer from a crippling shyness that is hard to bear (I cover it up well, but it gives me indigestion).

The first time I met my ex's mum, I was sat on the sofa having a really good natter. Just I relaxed and stopped worrying that I might accidentally blurt out, 'I've had sex with your son and I LIKED it!', I look down and realise that as I was talking, my shirt has come undone to the waist and I am revealing a rather large expanse of cleavage. I casually button myself back up. His mum, bless her, never mentioned a thing.

Same ex, and I am going to meet his Nana for the first time. She is a woman who many people came to fear and dread, not a nice little old lady by any stretch of the imagination, but pure unadulterated EVIL. She rules the family and her sons with a rod of iron, and is VERY strict about things like drunkeness and bad language,

So I take her youngest son (ex's Uncle aged 20 at the time) to the pub and get him right royally shitfaced on Vodka. When me, ex and Uncle return home, ex is sat on the back of his Uncle, riding him like a Donkey into the toilet so they can both vomit violently.

After a few minutes forced conversation over the sound of retching, they both emerge. Ex's Uncle looks at his mum and states "She's fucking brilliant Mam, she bought me all my fucking drinks..."

My ex then puked on the carpet.

I'm pleased to say that although my mum humilated me when my lovely current (and hopefully long-term full time) BF came to visit by advising him never to have nail extensions because 'they'll ruin your nails' and indeed what nail varnish he should use, he seems to have an easier time of it.

I've met his parents, they are distressingly nice, and I haven't made a total arse of myself yet. There's time though...
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 25 May 2005, 22:05, Reply)