When I was young & stupid. Alt - Jay got the boot...
*Snarf!*
When a group of us young blokes were going thru the rite of getting cars and then licenses we would often go out for a drive during the evening. One of the shenanigans we got up to whilst doing said bog-laps was for 1 of us to ride in the boot. This would then be followed by such silliness as - hoonish behavior, blowing said boot-occupant out through the keyhole, burnouts, bush-bashing and bumpy roads etc. I know - exciting times, right?
So anyway one night we suggest Jay (one of the more sensible and sometimes nervous members of our little cadre) has a go in the boot. Jay declines quoting stupidity levels and road statistics at us. Eventually we *ahem* coaxed him into the back. Snuggled up on his blanket in the boot Jay warns us "Guys, don't do anything dumb. Please." as the lid goes down.
A loud (enough to be heard in the trunk) convo ensues where suggestions are made as to where to take Jay on this his boot-cherry popping ride. Of course the local shops carpark is done as this is somewhat of a speed-bumpy rite of passage. Then we're stumped. "I know", says my mate Andy. "Let's go to the cemo." So off to Karrakatta - the local cemetery we go with Jay banging on the bootlid and complaining loudly. After 15 odd min. tooling (respectfully) around the cemo late at night we suddenly screech to a halt and all of us run screaming from the car.
And then as quietly as possible regroup -trying like fuck not to piss ourselves as poor old Jay's plaintive cries echo thru the night. The car is still idling and we are all (trying very hard) to be quiet. Jay's shouts and bangs are starting to become more and more panicked.
We silently start jacking the car up (2 of our number are apprentice grease-monkeys and can do this standing on their heads, in the dark whilst getting a hand-shandy). We also pop the hood and play with the revs etc. By this time Jay's noises have reached fever-pitch. We then started to try to pry the boot open (the car was Andy's and truth be told was a shit-heap - Andy didn't mind the odd bump & scrape). By now Jay is screaming obscenities, threatening blue murder to whoever is outside the car and trying to kick out the backseat.
Cue us walking silently away, having a smoke and coming back some minutes later. Andy pops the boot and a urine-smelling Jay flies out with a tyre-iron in his shaky grip. Much hilarity ensued.
Length? The two weeks it took for Andy to total his car (luckily relatively injury-free) and pretend he was his older brother when the cops arrived at the scene.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:29, Reply)