Two little bears....
My dad used to buy cars...a lot. Not particularly fancy cars (although some were to be fair). He just liked cars, so changed car quite frequently. So frequently that he used to have a 'curio' shelf in his garage. A shelf with odd delights found in new (second hand) cars. There was a gravity-driven mickey & minnie carrying a barrel of beer, a load of squeezy toys, a few rude objects etc...
On one occassion, a new car he'd just bought had two wooden bears hand-carved out of wood in it. They weren't really very good. At the time, I had a wood-burning stove in my converted garage (converted to a bar donch'ya'know).
He gave them to me to use as fuel...only, I quite liked them.
I put them in the car and went home. I forgot about the bears until the next day when I got back in the car to go to work. I snuck (is that a word?) back into the house and put one bear in the oven, and the other in one of the kitchen cupboards.
The misses obviously found them, didn't realise that I had them, but played along anyway. I'd forgotten about this by the time I'd got home from work, and just carried on as normal. I climbed into bed that night to find both the bears under the covers on my side of the bed.
The next morning, I put the bears on the garden path.
The next day they were in the drivers seat of the car.
Increasingly, the bears were placed in bizarre places in a silent and lengthy game of tit-for-tat.
One morning, I went to leave for work and they were on the opposite side of the road in a neighbours garden. I grabbed them and moved them again.
I told the misses last night that putting them in 'Mutton's' garden (his name was Geoff, what else would I have called him?) wasn't a good idea as he was a cantankerous old git and probably wouldn't find it very funny.
She told me that she'd only put them on the top of my car.
To cut a long story slightly shorter, the bears were now moving about on their own. It was no longer a silly game between just the two of us.
The bears would end up in neighbours cars, half way down the road to work (about a mile). Some considerable effort was going into finding more and more imaginative places.
This continued for many months.
In the summer months, as we had the bar fully finished by then, we invited all the neighbours round to ours for a BBQ/Bar opening.
Everyone, apart from the two lesbian women who lived behind us attended. That night, yep, the bears appeared INSIDE my next door neighbours house. We didn't find this out until the next day.
The obvious answer was that it was the lesbian women who's been fucking with our heads. I confronted them about it (nicely, I wasn't banging on the door demanding to know what was going on with my bears or anything) the next time I saw them, however, they were going through a messy breakup and one of their grandmothers had just died as well, making their denial seem all that more real.
We never did work out who was moving the bears, but, and I know how sad this sounds, it really was quite good fun while it lasted.
(dchurch bah, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:59, Reply)