It's important to slow down when the world stops.
When the world stops in its tracks, you gotta slow down and take a look around and say "Hey! I don't think this was ever movin'! What kinda world stays still?" And I'll tell you what kinda world stays still: our world stays still.

What an interesting feeling it was to be in motion. But I wasn't in motion, I was static, I was stationary. That was my position.

And the Colonel rang up, he said "What's your position? I forgot your name." I said "I don't have a name, but you can call me Stanley." I said, "I haven't got a position, just tell me your orders sir." He says, "Your orders are simple - I need you to retrieve the golden jewel." And I said, "That sounds like a funny colour for a jewel." He said "Don't fuck with me, buddy! I got systems and you ain't got papers, OK? Listen up, the golden jewel has gone missin'," and I caught him again, I said, "Hey! What's a golden jewel? That doesn't make sense!" and he said "Fuck fucker fuck!"

And I said "I don't know if I like that many swears in a row. You could curse a coupla times but three's a bit excessive in my view." He says "I'm not interested in your view," and I said "I am! I'm interested in my view because that's the only view I got!" And he said, "Don't you get on to me about views, I gotta hundred of 'em." I thought, that's a rich man there, he's gotta hundred views. So I said "What's my position?" and he said "You should know that," I said "We're constantly moving," and he said "No, you've contradicted yourself there 'cos you said we were stationary a minute ago," and I said "I don't know nothin'!"

No, I did know somethin' at that point, but it wasn't much. It was a little more than nothin', but it certainly wasn't much. Wasn't enough to open a bank account, I'll tell ya that.

"Can I open a bank account?"
"No, you don't have enough information!"
"What if I don't have the information? Can I never open an account?"
He said "That's the system."
I said "God damn the system, I've already screwed it over once but it screws me over every day!"

And the TV remote's fuckin' broke, so I gotta stick. I don't like to swear, but I do it all the time because it feels good. Some guy comes up to me, he goes "How come you're not smokin'?!" I said, "I am smokin'. Inside!"
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 14 Jan 2012, 23:52, 5 replies)

I rather like "I am smoking. Inside." Might I borrow it for a bit?

(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 0:39, closed)

Ditto.
I'll have what he's having.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 15 Jan 2012, 0:51, closed)

Here, oddness I see,
myanimelist.net/comments.php?id=491423
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 1:32, closed)

It's a classic tale.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 2:03, closed)

Well, it's different.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 22:44, closed)