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This is a question Messing with people's heads

Theophilous Thunderwulf says: What have you done to fuck with people? Was it a long, carefully planned piece of psychological warfare, or do you favour quick, off-the-cuff comments that confuse the terminally gullible? Have you been dicked with, and only realised many years later? Are you being dicked right now? Tell us everything.

(, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 11:25)
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A friend and I...
... once devised a semi-immobiliser for cars. It works a bit like a normal immobiliser, in that you disable it when you want to drive, it kicks in when you lock the doors and set the alarm. And here's where the fun starts.

At idle or for the first five seconds (to give the engine time to stabilise), just work normally. After that, if the speed goes above 1100rpm, begin misfiring. Just drop a cylinder at random with the probability of missing increasing the longer the throttle is pressed - but always dropping back to a lovely smooth idle. Finally, after about 30 seconds, stop altogether.

We never had the opportunity to see if it worked well if the car was genuinely stolen, but it was a laugh giving people a shot of it to see if they could work it out. Certainly you'd easily catch any would-be car thief farting, lurching and backfiring their way out of the car park at a walking pace.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 0:41, 2 replies)
That
sounds exactly like the crappy old Escort I owned years ago.
I had the transfer papers. Honest.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 0:47, closed)
reminds me of a viz letter
'why are toyota getting praised for a car that cuts out at the lights? my wife's escort has done that for years'

in other news, yesterday I bodged a corsa radiator into my astra by giving the bracket stilts.
(, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 13:50, closed)

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