not sure if this counts
but several years ago, i lived in a high rise block. my neighbours and i were plagued by gangs of children pissing about in the lifts. as the odd-numbered lift stopped just outside my front door and made a noise like a tin drum being hit with a savagely thrown midget, this tended to annoy me somewhat.

one day, i was standing on the doorstep, talking to a friend. there were a couple of girls in the lift who had obviously pressed every single button, just to ride up and down. i'd had enough by this time and decided to do something about it.
i pulled my skirt up to my armpits, converting it into some sort of demis roussos tribute outfit. then, i back-combed my hair and grabbed my largest knife from the kitchen. i pressed the button for the lift to come, pressed myself out of sight against the wall, and waited.
after about a minute, the lift juddered to a halt and the door opened. the girls were in there, yapping away to each other. they didn't think anything was wrong as they were expecting to stop at all the floors.
just as the door was starting to close, i jumped out in front of them, knife raised, screaming incoherently. within about 30 seconds, the lift had deposited them on the ground floor and they were off down the street, never to plague our lifts again.
now, before you all start calling me a cunt, messing with the lifts was only the tip of the iceberg. breaking windows was a hobby of theirs, as was harrassing elderly tenants and annoying their pets. i may have been a bit over the top, but they learned their lesson.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:54, 2 replies)

I assume you had on frilly knickers.
Or at least clean ones.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:18, closed)

it was a very long skirt

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:20, closed)