Mini Cabs From HellWe've all taken a dodgy cab in our time. One guy asked me to give him a back-rub in exchange for letting me off the fare. I was like, "here's the cash mate." Another chappy claimed to be Paddy Patel - a child actor from UK TV series Tuckers Luck - he drove like a speed freak and regaled me with stories that "playing a black Irish boy. England wasn't ready for it." So go on - tell us your worst and we'll tell the world.
[edit: for those confused by the term mini-cab, London has two sorts of taxis: highly regulated, licensed and salt-of-the-earth black cabs that you see in films and a whole bunch of unlicensed, uninsured, random cars driven by nutters who aren't supposed to pick up from the street (you have to phone for them). They are universally rubbish]
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rob, Wed 26 May 2004, 21:44)
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Bournemouth Taxi Drivers.Bournemouth Taxi Drivers are gods among men.
1. End of September last year, there's a Labour Party Conference down here. There are armed police everywhere, all the drains and manholes have been checked for bombs, roads are closed off. The usual. The taxi driver I get? Hates the government. Wants to blow up Tony. He tells me this very loudly and often as we drive along.
He then says he reckons the police are really looking for Bin Laden, not bombs. I, jokingly, say that maybe they'll find him. The taxi driver doesn't like this idea, as Bin Laden is, apparently, his uncle.
2. Big, hulking black guy. The sort that'd scare the utter shit out of you if you met him in a dark alleyway. Reeks of weed.
"Do you mind if I call you John?" he asks, as soon as I get into the taxi with a mate. I must note that I am not called John. Before I have the chance to reply, he's off, and nearly slams into a police car.
"Police are bastards," he says. We, naturally, agree. He turns to me.
"Why you call police bastards for?"
Now. We're in this taxi for a ten minute journey. No matter what we say, that is his only response: "Why you call police bastards for?"
Occasionally, it was interspersed with him turning to my mate in the back seat and asking "Why does John call police bastards for?" - Usually when we're going through traffic and he's on the wrong side of the road.
We get to the party we're going to. The taxi driver turns to me, with a huge grin, and says "John. Why you call police bastards for?" whilst starting to piss himself laughing. He'd been playing with us.
Git.
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gone, Thu 27 May 2004, 14:12,
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