Missing body partsNow there are some bits of your body you don't mind losing - my dad's just got rid of a kidney stone, my own tonsils once tried to asphyxiate me, and nobody wants warts.
Other bits are more useful - a family friend recently lost an arm... which would be OK if his job wasn't managing dis-armament talks.
What have you lost, and where did you leave it?
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chthonic, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:22)
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VeruccasFor several years I had what can only be described as a plague of veruccas. It was of biblical proportions. I was actually beginning to wonder if God was smiting me for twenty-one years of eating bacon sandwiches. Nothing got rid of the bastards. I tried verucca patches, verruca cream, home freezing kits, had them frozen off at the doctor's - they either stayed put, or pretended to bugger off for a while only to regrow with a vengeance a couple of weeks later.
A couple of years ago I started taekwondo. This involves bare feet. At this point I had over forty of the little bastards and was horribly self-conscious about the warty state of my feet, so went to great pains to make sure nobody ever caught a glimpse of them. The most crucial time was when we were sitting cross-legged on the floor watching demonstrations - I developed a technique which involved surreptitiously pulling my dobok over my feet so that nobody would see the diseased nastiness on my soles...
Anyway, after a few weeks I started to relax a bit. Nobody was really looking at my feet. It was fine. Then one day my instructor came over to correct my side kick. He grabbed my foot to manipulate it into the correct footsword position...and suddenly looked as if he was going to throw up.
The veruccas finally disappeared after three months of intensive treatment with Extra-Strength Bazuka Gel. Now, after an eighteen month respite, I have three gestating on my right big toe.
WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYY?????!!!!!!!!!
(, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 15:18, Reply)
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