Skin from the waist down

I was in the fitter’s workshop changing some bearings or other when in rushed Wee Johnny McEwan the smallest and dodgyish pieces eating Scottish fitter you'll ever meet. He proceeded to remove his overalls and sprint as fast as his little legs would carry him into the toilets/changing rooms. It was then that a strange eggish sort of smell filled the air. Thinking this must be some sort of hideous trouser filling incident I turned round to see smoke coming from his discarded overalls, upon further inspection and a subtle boot I found his overalls were slowly disintegrating leaving a nice little concave dome in the concrete floor. Being a nosey git I went into the toilets to find Wee John in one of the ablution fountains with an Indian operator holding down the foot pedal and John frantically washing large bits of blistered and burnt skin off his legs off with water. It transpires that to carry out some work on one of the furnaces John needed to isolate the oil feed to the plant; valve height approximately 7ft, now to a six foot fitter no problem. To a four foot six sweaty sock some form of elevation device was required. This took the form of an inconspicuous blue plastic lidded barrel which completely unbeknown to John contained the etching acid for the piston pins we used to make and sell. So up jumped John, stood on the plastic lid which with its inability to hold a small Scotsman gave way immersing him up to at least the waist with acid. Funnily enough shortly after this incident all of the acids were kept in a locked bund wall container and there was talk of a drench shower. The whisper was that John settled on a six figure sum out of court and went on to be a trolley collector at the local Sainsbury’s. Working in this sort of environment people regularly lose fingers or finger tips because they "link out" the safety devices on machines, we had eyes lost and even a pair of feet! but to lose all that skin below the waist without being Jewish? Thank god I'm a desk jockey now!





** Its long and thin, but that’s only because I'm a tight fisted wanker!**
(The Hooded Fishfinger, Mon 5 Jun 2006, 8:12, Reply)