Bits & Pieces (now gone)
Being a priest I have to admit that losing bits of my body is all part of God's great plan but to make a list....

1) Edge of right hand thumb when I was a kid breaking an enormous catering-size Branston Pickle jar by gently hitting it with a claw hammer.
2) End of left hand middle finger by putting it in a chemist's door-hinge to 'find out what the grease felt like'. Now I have to keep that nail really short to stop it growing into the finger. Looks gross but I have fond memories.
3) Part of left eylid when I attempted to de-attach a springclip by pulling it towards me (nice black scar almost inside my eyeball which is still commented upon today by slightly wary friends).
4) Half of right eyebrow when I tried to turn off a 'living fire' (ie, powered by gas not coal) and fell into it after consuming too much communion vino.
5) Tonsils and adenoids. Could only eat crushed ice for two days afterwards and scared people in the hospital by just looking at them when they spoke to me then running to the toilets to spit because I couldn't swallow. No funny comments please.
6) Skin on the inside of my nose. I had severe nose bleeds as a kid and they chemically cauterised my nose. They said it wouldn't hurt - it feckin' did!
7) Right nipple for a while. While fitting a door I dropped a screw that I wanted to use on the hinge, looked down to find it and the door fell towards me scraping right down my chest taking off a nipple. Amazingly it grew back! The nipple, not the door.
8) Liver function - tbc, see 4).
9) Soul. Nearly. I tried to sell it on eBay. It never reached the reserve price of £1. I'm slightly perturbed by this. After all the crap that I've bought on there I thought a priest's soul might be worth something...maybe satan doesn't have an account
10) Part of shoulder skin. A girl (let's just say her name begins with 'L' (and ends with 'isa Gerald')) when I was aged about nine scratched it off. Massive scar ever since.

Length....just read the bible!
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Tue 6 Jun 2006, 2:01, Reply)