Stupid childhood-ruining gerbils.
My mum bought me and my brother some gerbils when I was six. Apparently because dogs are too much work and cats are shit.
Naturally I was THRILLED about this. A sawdust-filled fishtank full of rattish things – cor! Whizzer!
“How do I pick them up, mum?”
“Well, you just hold their tail like this,” [holds tail] “and gently lift them up. See?”
I thought this was amazing. You could never do that with a dog. In went my delighted little hand, and I picked up one of my beautiful new gerbils by its lovely soft tail. Success!
“Look mum!” I cried. She’ll be so proud, I thought. I’m so happy right now.

Then its fucking tail came off in my hand.

I remember screaming, then the next few weeks are just Spectrum loading noise.
ZZSSSCZZCCCCRRRAWASSSBBBBZZZZZXXCRAASSAWA
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 11:40, 5 replies)

Your mum is a fucking idiot.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 11:56, closed)

She gripped by the base; I, the tip.
But yeah, I've done a quick google and there's quite a lot of people who'd agree with you.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 14:34, closed)

Agreed.
Why would anyone want to pick up a gerbil?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 15:56, closed)

i had a gerbil, it's name was Stumpy
for this very reason
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:04, closed)

I'm so nicking "the next two weeks were just Spectrum loading noises"
:D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:35, closed)

My sister had 2 gerbils
they were the stupidest fucking things alive. When she first got them they lived in a wire cage, and sometimes their tails would protrude from between the bars. I'd often walk into the kitchen to see Tigger (ace ginger tom best cat ever) on the table, chowing down on gerbil tail whilst said gerbil crouched in the cage doing nothing to extricate itself.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 20:00, closed)