Model Behaviour
A while back, one of my friends had a small collection of rudimentary assembled lego toys on top of his wardrobe. Now, we're not talking impressive things like the Millennium Falcon or somesuch, we're talking about four wheels and a windscreen hastily slapped together to look vaguely like a car. This may have been normal if we were toddlers, but we were nearly twenty. So, while he was out of the room getting us a drink I did the obvious and took them all apart and feverishly rebuilt them into something resembling a pixelated cock and balls (with wheels and a windscreen!). On his return I sat giggling like a retard, refusing to tell him what was so funny. He was rather exasperated by the time he followed my occasional glance and saw the lego member sitting proubly on top of his cupboard. I expected him to at least smile but he turned round and looked at me as if I'd just suggested some casual rape fun with his mother.

"What?" I asked.
"My lego!" He squealed with tears in his eyes and I started to get a little worried. "They were the first things I ever built! I was three! My mother kept them for me! They've not been touched in 16 years!" He finished, now openly crying.

I swallowed hard and then should have just waited forlornly for the ground to swallow me up after merrily destroying his childhood in two minutes of misguided mirth. Instead I felt my mouth open and heard myself say, "You don't like the cock then?"
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:10, Reply)