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This is a question My first experience of porn

So there I am, aged 11, crawling through the woods with the Scouts when we come upon a big pile of magazines stuck into a tree. Risking losing the game by being seen, we stand up to knock them down.

They flutter down in a big heap - and behold, they are full of nudey ladies!

Crawling through the woods suddenly lost its appeal...

What was your first experience of porn?

(, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:29)
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Off to A-Level college in England...
...went my friend Stephen.

So well done him, he'd moved away from home to go have drunken partying shenanigans for a couple of years while getting some qualifications.

Then he heard that while he was away his parents would be moving house. He passed this news on to me in a letter that went along these lines:

"OMG djtp you've got to help me! Remember that jazz mag I've got under my bed, my parents will find it when they pack up all my stuff. Here's my back door key, here's a list of 100% safe times to get into the house. I'll give you £5 if you take care of this for me. Aaaargh."

So I did what any friend would. Told all our mutual friends about it, showed them the key and the letter. But ah yes, I'm not totally heartless and could see the problem my mate was in. I caught the bus to his village and happened to see a cute girl from school who I hadn't yet told the story to. Gaining points with her by humiliating my mate was interrupted when I noticed that his dad was on the bus.

"Ah, djtp. What brings you out here?"

(think fast, think fast, say something, anything)

"Erm, to see you actually."

"Oh yes?"

(fuck, think of something slightly less stupid)

"I, err, I mean. Stephen has one of my golf clubs. I was wondering if I could get it back."

Result. This was in fact true and I was (under supervision) led to a room where I retrieved my club.

The conclusion to this story is less funny. I went back another day and knocked on both front and back doors long and hard before carefully entering and leaving the premises undetected with one used jazz mag, deposited in the nearest bin.

Word of this did get back to his little sister and I had to put on my best lying face and completely deny ever being in her house. I never did get my £5 but I still have the letter and key for future prosperity ;)
(, Tue 30 Jan 2007, 11:57, Reply)

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