Buck-toothed hillbillies, lesbian nurses and chavs
We've lived in our house for 10 years or so. The first lot of neighbours were a buck-toothed, fuckwitted lot into line-dancing or some such. Harmless enough. They moved, and a couple of nurses moved in together. I thought I'd died and joined a wankathon. Lots of whispers that they were drinking from the furry cup, until I asked and they both had boyfriends, just worked together. Shame. Didn't stop me throttling myself whenever I saw them in their uniforms. They moved on and Mr. & Mrs. Chav moved in with their 2 sprogs and his 3 from his previous marriage at weekends; 5 kids and 2 adults in a 3-bed semi. Could get quite noisy and kids were fucking annoying little bastards.

One day Mrs. Chav is in the garden. Had a chat over the fence. Told me she wishes she'd never moved here (that's the gratitude we get for being good neighbours). Of course I asked her why. She seemed less than keen to say. Pressed her for more info. Turns out Mr. Chav has been screwing the woman who they sold their last house to. Oooh.....she meant, literally, she wishes they'd never moved. Oops.

He's fucked off and left her with one of the sprogs. Can't afford to sell. Glad to get shot of him though. Right twunt. Saw him in the garden, arseholed one night, on the phone to the police complaining that the two policemen in the garden with him, trying to arrest him, were threatening to use pepper spray or some such.
(Tighthead, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:08, Reply)