My flat was invaded by wasps this summer
Had a nest up in the loft. Nasty. Very nasty.

One time when it was very hot - I mean hotter than a slurpy deepthroat blowjob from a busty stripper with a fever, dressed in a sexy Satan outfit, who’s frigging herself with a bunch of jalepenos while telling you how she likes to take it up the shitpipe hot – I’d just made myself a lovely strawberry jam sandwich.

I settled down to eat the fucker. Shit. Forgot the can of lifeforce I’d left in the fridge. I get up, go and get my beer, and when I return two, count them TWO fucking wasps were chomping down on my pride and joy, my jam sarnie.

I picked up the plate, rushed to the window and shook the little fuckers off into the outside world, screaming: “FUCKING DIE YOU YELLOW AND BLACK BASTARDS!!!”

That’s when I noticed my neighbours, the people who have the flat below me and the flat to the side, stood outside in the street having a nice little chat. They both stared, they both looked like they wanted to murder me. I chuckled, waved, they turned away and continued their conversation. Bastards try their best to avoid me now.

Though in my defense, I can’t fucking help it that I live in multicultural North London. I mean, there’s not many people in England who have one load of neighbours originally from Tokyo and another load originally from Ghana...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 17:31, 2 replies)

Dear Oh Dear
The spirit of 'Love Thy Neighbour' is still ingrained in some.

Great tale though.

*click*
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 1 Oct 2009, 17:40, closed)

This stinks of bullshit
But it's funny. No click though, I don't like lies....
(b3ta_polis, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 12:41, closed)