A few months back....
....me and the wife were invited to a family member's wedding party which was about 50 miles away. The wife was all up for it but I was not; I was fresh out of surgery from a quite comical condition (see my profile QOTW best answers for that one, twas to do with my ass if you can't be fucked to read it). The medication I was on had stopped me from being able to drink and I'd randomly feel like blacking out, and as it happened was currently starting to kick in with me that evening. So the idea of an hour road trip to a wedding do did not sit pretty with me and the missus took the daughter with her in a strop to the party. Well fuck, sorry about being ill 'n' all, I'm so seflish like that :D

So about half an hour after they'd left, I literally stumble to bed at 7.30pm and pass out.

The next morning, I wake up at 8am to find the missus fast asleep beside me. The baby's just woken up so I take her downstairs and go through the normal morning rigmaroll (nappies, clean teeth, brekkie, not all at the same time mind you). Just finishing up the breakfast and the wife comes downstairs.

"Nice party?" says I.
"I don't fucking believe you slept through it" says her.
"What, the party? It was 50 miles away, the music didn't keep me up to be honest."
"No, not that. All the action outside."
"What action?" I glance out the window and can't see anything different.
"As we got back from the wedding, something happened a few doors down from us."
"And?"
"You didn't see the flashing lights?"
"Nope."
"Or the police running through our garden?"
"No?"
"Or the helicopter above us?"
"Um..."
"Or the armed responce with machine guns running in every direction outside with 6 police cars?"
"....errr...uh?"

She got home close to midnight to find that one of our neighbours had just been attacked by a machette weilding mainiac at her front door, who stabbed her twice as she managed to luckily get the door closed before he killed her. A quick frantic phonecall resulted in the largest Police Station in Swansea situated 2 minutes down the road emptying all their coppers onto the house 5 doors down from us. As the assailant was armed, the Armed Responce team turned up and along with any available standard officer started searching through every garden on the road for clues, including ours. 5 minutes later a Police Helicopter was above our row of houses, illuminating all houses and gardens in the area. The missus and me daughter had to sit in their car while they watched all this happen and after 1/2 an hour they were let into our house.

All while I had one of the best sleep sessions I'd had all year. All the concoction of painkillers and antibiotics had caught up with me, and it took a good 13 hour kip to make me feel alive again. As someone else almost lost their life a few doors down. Ouch.

They didn't catch the cunt who'd tried it immediately, but got him a few days later. Apparently her ex-husband owed him something so he took it out on the ex-wife instead. He's been done for attempted murder and has gone down for a few years.

Nice area btw :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 12:59, 3 replies)

Armed Responce?
Did they wear really effeminate uniforms and speak in camp voices?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:15, closed)

I so wish they did :)
I'm gonna e-mail them that as a suggestion.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:17, closed)

perhaps
painkillers make you sleepwalky...or sleepstabby?
(bblgoose, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:08, closed)