One night coming back from the pub I was so wankered
I dropped my phone in the street as I was reaching for my keys. The phone spiralled to the ground and broke aparts, various components flying everywhere. Fuck. I drunkenly reached down and attempted a rescue operation. Picked up the battery, the battery cover, found the phone, the keypad... But I suddenly got the strange inkling I was making too much noise. One of my neighbours violently drew back his curtains, opened his window and yelled: “You drunk fucker! You’re making too much fucking noise!”

Being a reasonable chap and also currently down on my knees, I felt round for the first heavy object, a nice big pebble, and lobbed it at the cunt. Hit him square between the eyes David and Goliath style, he fell back looking stunned and confused.

Its true what they say in the bible: Let he who is without sim cast the first stone....
( SpankyHanky, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:58, 5 replies)

Groan.
Have a 'spang' and a *click*.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 17:06, closed)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooft
that was like a rubber mallet to the balls
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 17:10, closed)

oh you
total utter plonker

PMSL
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 3 Oct 2009, 13:52, closed)

You owe
me a new keyboard. I've just spat tea on mine. Have a *click* for appalling punnery.
(berk, Sat 3 Oct 2009, 16:44, closed)

That
nearly made me wee.

That is all.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 0:38, closed)