Is "mental" catching?
I've had my fair share (and then some) of slightly off the wall neighbours, the woman who complained to my mum that she could smell her cooking with too many onions on Sundays through her wall, to the ones who went round the local shops and take aways the day me and the ex moved in to tell then not to serve us as we were both into satan and witchcraft (we were both early 90's hair metal fans!). But "H" takes the biscuit.

H lived in the flat below us that we have recently moved out of, a decision that she did play no small part in. Amongst her, almost weekly, complaints to our flatmate about me & Mrs P were "I could hear those two fighting last night and they were using furniture to hit each other", "There's too many women walking round the flat wearing high heels, it goes on all day and it's really disturbing me". She also complained that she was sick of me walking round the flat naked during the day, how she could see what I was doing confused me especially as she was directly below us and the flat overlooked a main(ish) road with 3 restaurants and 6 guest houses directly opposite the block, which would make even the most fervent exhibitionist think about covering up, let alone anyone with my physique!

She also admitted to standing on our doorstep one afternoon, with her ear to the door, as she was convinced that she could hear me "making noise" (not any of the other 3 that lived there), which seeing as I was at work about 2 miles away & t'other half wasn't even on the same island at the time was an achievement! It didn't occur to her that as the building next door was being converted to 8 flats at the time, that might have been the source of the banging!

We had just over a year of her random complaints about us, which was a shame and spoilt a flatshare with a top bloke who we're still good friends with in spite of her attempts to convince him that I was a naturist transvestite wife beater!

The main problem with her is that she is one of the most respected shrinks over here and is the local equivalent of Frasier as she's the resident psychologist/councillor on the local radio station and is obviously 10 times more troubled than the people she's trying to help...

Length? Freud would say that it was my mothers fault...
(The Inevitable Pelican, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 20:23, Reply)