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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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I had some really rank neighbours a few years back.
Big extended family. Single mum, some doddery old man who was an uncle or something, teenage boy, teenage girl and preteen girl.

The boy used to play the drums, very badly, all day and night in the back shed right by our kitchen.

They would smoke so much dope that the fumes would waft over and cloud our whole house.

They blasted Marley music all day and night and had big massive parties constantly.

One night all the neighbours rushed out in a panic at the sound of yelling and smashing, and when we saw that it was their place, and that they had pissed someone off badly enough that they'd run up their driveway to smash up their car before driving off, we all tutted at each other and waved goodnight before heading back inside, avoiding the assailants rushing off into their cars and studiously avoiding any license plate numbers that could involve us in vindicating these selfish assholes.

The absolute worst though.

Our study had heavy velvet drapes to try and block out the noise of their screaming fights and raucous partying, as it was the one wall that faced directly onto their property, and as such were rarely opened.

I pulled them apart to clean the windows once, and there, directly in front of my nose, was a used tampon, stuck the the window by the mutual forces of the gunk encrusting it and the force at which it was flung from their bathroom window.

I had to go outside, get on a stepladder, and peel the now-dry fucker off with a plastic bag over my hand. Then pick up the pairs of stained undies I found down there as well. Dirty little fucks.

When my landlord went to chat to the mum about it, they said that they'd had a slumber party and it must have been a guest. Charming.
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 12:45, Reply)

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