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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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Never say yes to anything!
An opportunity, as my work put it (I work for an international college), for a year’s rent free accommodation as residential warden in one of their residences. At that point in time I had recently split from my ex, didn’t really want to live with my mother anymore I had been looking at places to live, but I thought better of it and no I don’t want to live in the residence with students. So, weeks pass still procrastinating about finding somewhere to live, when yet another email arrives reminding folks of a years rent free accommodation. So, it got me to thinking I am currently man-less, I could save a shit load of money. Why the f**k not! So, I compose an email asking what would be expected of a residential warden etc. etc.

When the response comes it is no more than light cleaning duties. I thinks to myself, grand I can do that – for a year of no rent and bills.

Most of the students are great, good fun to live with, good humoured and interesting. So, where is the problem? In general but not always they are same age as me (mid-twenties) or slightly younger, but crucially have just from a life where their parents do everything for them. There was one man; I was indulging in my favourite activity sitting in garden drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, when he comes rushing out of the house in a hissing spitting rage and hollered – Freepens come and help me! My first reaction was, what’s happened has he slashed his hand open, set the kitchen a light – no, he couldn’t work out how to cook super noodles.

Another, this was a fully grown man (quite a few years older than my self may I add), woke me up at 4 in the morning in a panic because he had left his mobile phone in a taxi. What I failed to recognise was the important fact that it has all his numbers in it and he needed to send a text!

There is also a young woman, who loves, loves, loves to cremate food and set the smoke detector off at all times of the day and night – on one memorable occation at 6 o’clock on a Saturday morning. I had been out the night before got plenty drunk to tell the truth I really didn’t want to be woken at 6 in the morning. Alarm sounds what’s happened? Jump out of bed still in the clothes from previous night panda eyed staggering mad woman check, check, check, it’s ok no fire. Go reset the alarm – then retire to the garden with coffee & cigarette just in case it goes off again. May I add there was no apology from this young woman for waking the entire house (in reality it is just a very big house pretending to be a student residence), causing them to panic etc. etc. Then in her usual considerate fashion, comes out to the garden carrying some food saver (Tupperware) boxes and asks me if I think she has enough lunch as she is going on a College trip. I replied I think you take another apple just in case, but how the words off and f**k never passed my lips I will never know.

There is a another woman who refuses to leave the house, even refuses to go to college, if it is raining and complains continually about the fact that I (not she) does not own a car, because if I owned a car I could drive her places then pick her up later ‘which would be sooo cool’ – her words not mine. I could go on all day cataloguing the selfish inconsiderate juvenile behaviour of fully grown adults, but they should be excused as they are students.
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 10:34, 1 reply)
No
they shouldn't fucking be excused as they are students. Contrary to popular belief, students are human beings too and a fair majority of the ones I've met could do with a healthy dose of grow the fuck up.
Have a pity click - I really don't think I could do your job.
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 22:27, closed)

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