Travellin' tales
Last year I went on one of those cheap-o sailing trips from Newcastle to Norway. I was rather looking forward to it, since I am a huge fan of Norway and have always wanted to see the fjords. However, just before we got to bed on the first night we were told by the captain that the sea might be "a bit rough".

By that, what he meant was a force 11 storm in the North Sea. If you remember the oil rig fire from November last year, we were about 40 miles south of it. So anyway, we were thrown around like a sack of oranges in a washing machine for around 23 hours before we made it into the fjords and calmer waters. Neither of us had slept in 2 days by that point.

The boat chugs into Bergen port at 1.30am, 90 minutes later than expected and despite me and my friend desperately wanting a good night's sleep, we had to disembark and re-embark first for customs reasons. So we get off the ship and sit in the waiting area at Bergen Port (which is roughly the size of a bus stop). As we're sitting there avoiding a Scandinavian breeze coming in through the doors, I notice the following on my ticket:

"On some crossings, passengers may be asked to disembark again at 7am the following morning."

Now since we'd not slept in 2 days and spent 20 hours in a huge storm on an old boat...well, there were many things I would rather do than be woken up at 6am. This includes being diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Anyway, we decide to talk to the customs officer on the boat once we get back on. I don't know if this is the same all over Norway but in Bergen their police and customs officers were all clad in leather. I defy you to talk to one without humming the village people in your head. So, we get back on the boat and find this very tall leather clad man with a goatee. The following conversation took place.

Me: Hello there. I've been looking at our ticket and it says that sometimes you ask people to disembark the boat again at 6am. Will that happen now? Please can we not? I'm awfully tired and I can currently see three of you.

[The man looks at me puzzled. I'm not sure if he understands me. I hand him my ticket and he studies it with a very serious face.]

Man: You actually read all this shit?

Me: Well...yes?

[He shakes my hand]

Man: Congratulations. We've had nearly 400,000 people come through here this year and you're the first one to have ever read the ticket. We won't be waking you up - I want a lie in.

Ok, so he was only doing his job but if you're sleep deprived enough, the assurance of a good night's sleep is as good as finding batter in your chips from the chippy.
(GONEism, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:32, 2 replies)

Have a *click*
from a fellow ticket reader. I just can't help myself. If something's written, I have to read it.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:34, closed)

True
I will read anything and everything.

But readnig tickets and whatnot does help, cause then you know more or less exactly where you stand, rights-wise
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 17:53, closed)