Strange words at a funeral.
Cue first proper post. This isn't so much what a friend did for me; really that he changed my perspective.

As I'm sure many of you know, loosing a close relative as not a very nice thing.
My father was a funny ol' sod, never once told me he loved me, or hugged me, or told me well done, when I would win a medal in Aikido.
We'd stick to certain established conversation subjects, the weather, cats, the garden and photography. We'd stick to these rules otherwise the alternative was chaos and shoutiness.

He was like this for many, many years, always there, same ol' dad.
In June he died. Just like that.
Then things got a bit silly. I'm the youngest (brother and sister) and although I'm in my late thirties, I'm still the baby (dear god...). So there I am at the parents house after picking my mother off the floor of the hospital and it's time to involve the brother and sister.
Now my brother is an ex copper and very sensible and my sister is also grounded in reality, so I let them know that our father has gone his good way.

My brother was on holiday at the time and decided that there wasn't much point in rushing back
"Are you sure? Mum would really LIKE to see you."
"I don't see the point in me rushing back to be honest. You've got it all organised, haven't you"
"Organised? I have?" (you do remember that I'm the baby, right?)

My sister had a far better excuse.
"I'm due an incredibly important operation in hospital tomorrow, if I come down then I'll have to wait a few months for the next one. And at that point there might not be much point..."
"Fair enough, Al, get your self seen to."

S**t. That means I've got to sort it all out and there is SO much to do! And try and keep my mother together, and not fall apart myself. Did I mention that my wife's Grandfather died 3 days before that and that they were very, very close? (Also lost the cat the week before, bless his little cottons )

So. It comes to the funeral and it's been a week of keeping it together, propping my mother up, propping my wife up, being propped up by my wife and organising everything there is to do with funerals.
Things can go a bit weird at this point. Your whole focus is on death and sadness. You lose touch with reality, why is everyone going about as if nothing has happened??!!
Funeral speech. Something needed to be said and as my brother was a published author then it was expected that he'd speak.
"Are you doing the speech?"
"No, I can't, I'll fall to pieces."
"Right. Al? You're sensible, you want to do it?
"No, I can't, I'll lose it."
"Guess it's me then..." (Bugger)

So I did the speech. And it all went well until the end, I didn't lose it but it took awhile to get the words out.

I was chatting to my very good friend of 34 years afterwards at the wake.
"Sorry, I was doing okay and then I crumbled at the end."
"Just like a good cheese."
...........

I giggled, we laughed and the world got a bit brighter.
It gets brighter every day, even my mother has started to notice.
My wife and I are hopefully adopting a couple of kiddies next year and at that point we may just get dazzled.
Oh, and I'm no longer the baby.


Length? I was rambling! Anyway, death IS a rather lengthy process.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 16:06, 2 replies)

strange words at a funeral
Good for you. Funerals are very hard things to get through. Your words will be remembered by your family. I am sure that your Dad and your cat were smiling down on you.
(Woofie, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 19:28, closed)

Harry
the cat will be scratching my leg in his own ghostly little way.
My dad, on the other, will probably be throwing beetroot at me. Ah well, can't have it all ways.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 15:35, closed)