Head banging to Hip Hop
A fine evening of Red Stripe and Hip Hop was been undertaken by myself and a group of friends at the ever-so-lovely-but-all-a-bit-blury Blue Mountain in Bristol.

I remember a few details, but no many - the music was good, beer was cheap, and there were ladies. Lovely ladies.

Unfortunately, as I was about to descend from the upstairs to the downstairs, my concentration was more on the ladies than my feet. Now these stairs are the metal edged, beer soaked variety, and I'm quickly descending downwards in my very own re-enactment of Cool Runnings.

Eager to slow my descent, I apply my size 12s to the next step on my route - which, as Newton's laws will invariably dictate, propels me upwards at great speed, to the low, low roof. Smack.

Back down I go, returning to my Cool Runnings, this time 1/2 concious and bleeding profusely from my newly acquired head wound. Fortunately the stairs end, my journey is over - right next to some helpful bouncers. Who take one look and me, and help me on my way to the street...

I don't live in Bristol, or anywhere near, and all the people I do know are in the club. Luckily one of my friends happens to be passing, and seeing me getting thrown out, comes out to help. Which basically involves supporting & carrying me back to her place. I'm 6-4, she's 5-4 and 1/2 my weight, I'm still not sure how we made it back.

Still, she's married to me now, so must have made a good impression.
(Tinium, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 16:58, 1 reply)

The story of the oaf
with a happy ending.


YOU WAN' HAPPY ENDING!?!?
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:41, closed)