Jesus, I'm a numpty
I'm not a huge fan of nightclubs, seeing as how you have to rely on dancing and/or natural good looks to become popular, and I'm not blessed with either talent. But there are some times when they're unavoidable, and one such time was back at uni.

Sat in the union bar, I actually got approached by two lovely looking girls who asked me and my mate to take them somewhere good. Panicking, I thought of the local indie club, and so off we trot.

Once there, we have tequilas which is a problem because I sneeze at the salt bit (carefully missing my salty hand) but then when I return to it I suddenly have to sneeze again and do that great-lungful-of air thing to prepare, snorting and inhaling the damn salt in the process.

A few more drinks, and feeling a bit merry at this point, we're sat down and I cough. To my surprise/horror, I actually vomit on the table as I do this. I hadn't been feeling sick, nor did I actually vomit - I just coughed and up came a big pool of horrible clear liquid with foul-smelling black bits in it. Pretty sure it came from my lungs and not my stomach - there was no heave nor retch nor baulk afflicting my considerable guts. I panic I may be dying.

I then tried to walk one of the girls home, who had demonstrated readiness for such a thing by kissing me even after having seen me try to dance. We're walking along, me anticipating a good time, but unbeknownst to me at that point she's from another uni just visiting on some exchange thing. So she was staying at the local fucking PDSA.

Your jokes about vets, dogs etc welcome.

Sorry for the length. But as a first-timer, I feel I've drawn it out quite impressively.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 18:03, 4 replies)

Land of Green Ginger..
Is that not a street in Hull?
(scazy_lumbag, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 18:33, closed)

Or a church converted into a shopping Mall
In coastal north east England. Once used to have the Supergran Bike hanging up in there, apparently.
(cheesehead, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 23:13, closed)

You managed to
cough up "a big pool of horrible clear liquid with foul-smelling black bits in it." and she still kissed you? Fair play fella!
(Barry Chuckle's Moustache, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 21:35, closed)

Kidding myself, but...
...I cling to the thought that she might not have noticed. I certainly didn't mention it.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 8:53, closed)