Stone the Crows…It’s the Rozzers!
Given the fact that I live in Barnsley, the place that has a new pub/club open every time a shop closes (and by my estimate the whole town will be turned into one giant theme pub by 2010) I have a number of stories that are apt for this QOTW.

This one is a more after club sort of story but meh, it fits.

I had just left the club and was starting my five mile walk homeward with a friend of mine. We had been out to celebrate the 18th birthday of one of my mates who had spent a few weeks beforehand bitching that we should go out in fancy dress. Naturally we complied and thanfully the choice of outfit was a good one as it kept us warm on the way home (Jumper and hat).

Half way to our destination and a car pulls up alongside us. It’s a police car. As I was 18 and therefore spending what money I had on beer and walking home was the norm for me (at the time) I was used to being questioned by the police. I stopped and prepared to answer the usual questions asked by the officer who finds people walking the streets at god knows what time of night (Where are you off to? Where have you been? etc etc).

This time however my smart assed mate decided to piss around and in cockney accent so bad it made Dick Van Dykes performance in Mary Poppins look Oscar winning, yelled “Stone the Crows it’s the rozzers!” and pretended to hide behind a lamppost.

The officer must have been having a bad night and therefore got out of the car and gave both me and my mate a severe dressing down about how the area we were in had been a hot spot for a number of break ins and that both myself and my mate looked like prime candidates for thieves.

At this point I burst out laughing too. Did I forget to mention that we were dressed as the stereotypical comic book robber (Complete with striped jumper, black mask, hat and a bag with the word swag emblazoned on it).

Bet he wouldn’t have hassled me if I were dressed as Batman.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 12:52, 1 reply)

That is fantastic
Either the copper had a very dry sense of humour and managed to keep a straight face, or he was an absolute tit.

If the latter, and his colleagues at the station found out he'd stopped and questioned two fancy dress burglars, he'd never have heard the end of it.
(Capo, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 4:48, closed)