Well...
I've done my best club story before, here: www.b3ta.com/questions/pubs/post362993

Aaah, the times in that place... such a craphole (well, full of students)...

On one memorable occasion, I was stood in the cloakroom queue to leave, when a bloke next to me decided to turn TOWARDS me and vomit all over my new jeans. Red, snakebite-y vomit.
Cheers mate. At what point did you not think it would have been nice to turn away from the other people?

Oh, and once, whilst queueing for over 20 minutes for the bar and getting really pissed off, I turned to the left and saw some HUGE guy I'd not seen standing there previously. I don't know how he could have gotten there all of a sudden - the mass behind us was at least five-deep.
And then he turned to me and started screaming, absolutely bloody screaming: "YOU'VE PUSHED IN! YOU'VE PUSHED IN! GET TO THE BACK YOU FUCK! YOU CHEATING FUCKING FUCK! YOU'VE FUCKING PUSHED IN!" My protests that it would have been physically impossible for me to push my way through that many people (I'm not very well built, and people in clubs aren't prone to let you push through them towards the bar) went completely unheeded. So I turned away from him, and tried to ignore him.
A minute or so later, he seemed to have stopped, so I turned back to see if he was giving me the evil eye or anything...

and he was gone...

I have no fucking idea what happened there. No idea at all.
(HarryTheMole whatever's on my finger is going in your mouth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:52, Reply)