Chubby Chasing Doormen
While working at the Australian theme bar on broad Street I had the pleasure to work with K. A nice enough chap who was always game for a laugh but was as thick as a whale omelette and like women who weighed about twice as much as Lisa Riley.

On one particular night at closing time he forgoes the usual staff pint and buggers off, we assume he has headed home early as he has work early the next morning.

My colleagues and I leave the pub about an hour later having unwound from a night of student excess and dodging hen parties. As we get to the car park we bump into K.

"Guys gimme a hand with the car will you" he asks.

"Yeah sure says us" thinking he needed a jump start. How wrong we were.

As previously mentioned K liked the larger lasses and this week unbeknownst to us he had excelled himself. We got to the car to be greeted by quite a shocking sight.

K had pulled a rather large lady and she had met him by his car so they could engage in a little push and pull. However she was so large she had become stuck between the front two seats so we al had to grab a limb and pull till she popped free.

The exact sight of this has been burned to my memory. Seeing a 25st woman with a fanny like a hippos yawn stuck between the front seats of a Datsun Cherry will stay with me forever.

So will the look on the fireman's face when we couldn't free her and they had to remove one of the front seats.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 15:54, 5 replies)

"fanny like a hippos yawn"
excellent phrase. With your permission I will be using this. All the time.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:24, closed)

Clickety-click
I second that.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:40, closed)

This
is why firemen often need therapy :D *click*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:37, closed)

mind bleach please
fanny like a hippos yawn

shouldnt ............but sniggers
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:45, closed)

Two lovely similes there
"as thick as a whale omelette"

"fanny like a hippo's yawn"

Consider them taxed.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 3:21, closed)